Sergio Spritzer. October 2020. The representation of reality is like a movie: how you perceive it depends on how the movie was shot. And imagination can be edited at any time. Reality can also change and the film that would be a faithful portrait of that moment alone, does not deal with reality in the next moment.
Even knowing this difference, people often believe more in their imagination than in reality. This is evident in the lines of lotteries and gambling houses around the world. People are more afraid of dying from Covid19 than this disease actually kills. On the other hand, if you take a “harmless” substance like a placebo, it can lead to real effects if it's consistent with your expectations. The human imagination expands thanks to technology such as writing, reading, telephone and now, but even more so with the internet, to the point where we do not know what is real or true except by reference to other images that we trust more.
When memories are very intense and especially when they threaten our integrity, they are stored as sensitive scars. They hurt when you move them. And they tend to be more exposed in the relationship we maintain with reality than positive memories, as a kind of line of defense. The problem is, as we know that negative images, whether evoked or constructed, can be distorted when we are subjected to a strong emotional charge, such as passion and hate.
In both cases, we lose the notion of reasonableness and let ourselves be driven by impulses in search of a magic solution to a suffering or need. So-and-so is the cause or the solution to everything in my life. Such medicine, home, travel will solve everything I lack.
Our imagination follows the principle of simplicity and emotionality: what is easier to be represented and evokes greater emotional charge will be the “cause” to explain and move us in reality. It is very hot; then it will rain. So-and-so is very hostile; must be unloved. I'm feeling bad; I'm going to take a medicine to get through. Emotions, rather than being examined, lead to an immediate reaction of meeting or withdrawing. “I'm glad you're here, so-and-so, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time” and starts to speak immeasurably, without asking the other if he also wants to talk at that moment. If he interrupts and disappears, the guy finds it rude and inelegant.
Emotion, as the root of the word says, is what moves a person.
She appears in situations of need and not of will. It appears to be sated and not to make sense. You would be surprised when a salesperson presents you with a service or product really wanting to know their most legitimate demands, giving you indefinite time to think about it. A person looks in the window and the seller comes. The guy says, “I'm just looking. I see that, sir. _What I ask you is what you're going to do when you're interested in that blouse, pants, etc. so wonderful…” Persuasion is there all the time; acting on impulse (“buy it now”) is the keynote of the consumer society.
If it were an affect-based approach, that is, the way people affect each other, it would be a lot more work. There would be a need to notice how the customer moves, looks and strikes up a conversation about something else until they find a common topic that is sympathetic to both. Telling stories of common interest and helping the customer to define their demand, even at the risk of not immediately selling the product, has the advantage of establishing a relationship of trust. A network of trust is worth more than an isolated sale over time.
Imagining a person going through difficulties is not the same as imagining a solution for him, much less for other people in his condition. The emotional reaction has a very old origin, associated with the instinct to preserve the life and physical integrity of the person and those close to him. It does not evoke qualified images capable of leading to the perception of meaning in the relationship between people, but action.
Therefore, we prefer to talk about Affective rather than Emotional intelligence, to refer to the ability to create a coherence of meaning perceived between people, composed and redefined between them, differentiating it from emotional reactivity.
Find out about our course Using Your Imaginary to get Real Changes by e-mail contato@neurocom.com.br