© Sérgio Spritzer, 2021
The understanding that each one is a point of convergence of a relationship with so many other points as a knot in a network of human relationships changes the understanding of the self as that of the lonely skull by Hamlet, a character by Shakespeare: “To be or not to be”, is not the issue. Not to have or not to have.
Are we or are we not a human species with a sense of collectivity, that is the question. If we are points in a network of implications among many others, we have a responsibility to position ourselves in the face of it. We are not alone with the world at our feet. Being networks in networks, the change of each one does not guarantee the change of the relationship.
Personal wanting is collectively generated more than the subject imagines.
Advertising, for example, is the “soul” of the business, yes. But it's not "the" deal, really. It is generated by the interaction between people and not by the induction of one by the other. It is composed of the common interest and not the unilateral interest.
Initially people seeking therapy or life guidance, couples, groups and teams, come with very selfish demands. I want me.... Or I want him/her... Or: I want them (the collaborators)....
I rarely get people wanting to actually examine the relationship of the self and the self with others, that is, the composite phenomenology and the forms of interaction that support or inhibit them.
They prefer to stay in their personal positions without interacting with others. This repeatedly doesn't work. Without interacting we cannot position and be positioned. If we don't mark a position in relation to others, how will a certain other know about it?
It's not enough to want the other to know about you or to understand what you want from their position. It is necessary to offer positions of oneself and help the other to perceive theirs in order to have a real interaction.
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