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You don't learn to relate through training

Human relationships cannot be learned through training, as they are not strictly mechanical but of another nature, symbolic. Mechanical systems do without knowing the meaning of what they do. We human beings function on at least three levels: automatic, emotional, and voluntary. Only the volunteer deals with meanings and meanings.

People are usually trained to use equipment or technologies, but there is no training (with mechanical and repetitive actions) to teach people to decide what matters to them or not, what they want or not, what to expect or not. It is based on desires and motivations that they build new possibilities.

In human (symbolically oriented) systems, only mechanical and automatic functioning (with no evidence of meaning) is a sign of trouble. Composing ideas is making sense together, doing together.

Try to express your ideas in the following sequence: imagine what you want to express, feel and understand how you are going to express it, and then make it happen. When understanding, realize what comes as it presents itself. So imagine what this means to the expresser. Then what it means to you and finally to both of you.

When this happens, it is quite possible that this sequence is not being respected. For example, in the eagerness to “explain” you do not express what you have in mind (imagination), nor how you perceive it. This is the case in the example described above.

In group communication, the same premise applies: listen, see and feel attentively without interrupting with questions and comments; nor interrupt others. Unless it's to know better what he's trying to express. When he has concluded, as the case may be, it may be interesting for you to express in your own way and with your words how you understood. Then turn the turn. It is time for the other to receive you in the same way.

This is learned in the “school” of coexistence, in human relationships.


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